Oh, how we love “good news!” while bad news just wreaks havoc within the depths of our souls!
My adopted grandson celebrated his 3rd birthday, Monday, May 4th and that evening his mommy (my oldest daughter, Carlie) was near death.
One of the many frustrations that I’ve dealt with since becoming a mother (and still possess even though I’m an empty nester) is that of being a very light sleeper. Before all this new technology of baby monitor’s and such, I had my very own internal antennae set for the slightest possible sound. Last Monday night (May 4th), I must have slept the hardest I have ever slept in my entire life, because when I woke up Tuesday morning, my dear husband informed me he had received a call from our son-in-law. They had a brief conversation as our son-in-law told him our daughter was stable, but they had called 911 and he was now sitting in his vehicle outside of the hospital. Our son-in-law could report at that time that she was breathing and stable, so not really knowing any other details dear ole dad went back to sleep while praying, and me? Where was I through the ringing of the phone, the whole conversation? Apparently, snoring away! It was of God, of course, because had I heard the phone or the message, I would have been pulling on clothes and loading up the car to drive the 3 hours to make sure everything turned out to my liking!
“Look! A messenger is coming over the mountains with good news!” (Nahum 1:15a)
But God didn’t need me! And my daughter? Well she has recovered with the aide of many around her like her husband and my other daughter, for whom I’m very thankful. After processing the whole ordeal, Carlie was able to write from her perspective. I share it with you –
I had an experience this past Monday night. I would describe it as a near death experience. I could have died. In the moment, the weight of the fight to heed my husband’s shouts for me to breathe drew a line in the sand: nothing else- a to do list, a clean kitchen, a successful day- was even remotely as valuable as the simple need to breathe. The weight of that fight could have easily tipped the scale in either direction- life or death. Life was chosen for me. Now that a few days have passed, I have been able to reflect. In the moment of sheer terror and trauma, I only feared letting down my sweet, wonderful husband as he cried for me to breathe. I knew we were in a fight but I never- not once- feared the end if the fight was lost. If you are reading this, I want you to know that no good deeds or rule-following made me have peace close to death’s door. Rule-Following is religion. Peace and Joy and Wisdom and Humility are the results of a Relationship. Only the Author of Life Jesus could provide such peace that surpasses all mortal understanding. I encourage you to ask this Author of Life for understanding and peace while the breath of life is still in your body because none of us truly knows when our end will come. Until my end on this carnal earth comes, I will pursue a deepening knowledge of my beautiful Savior, the love of a gracious, committed and kind husband, and wisdom with which to grow old.
I am moved to tears every time I read her words, but I’m reminded of an insightful quote from my little devotional (Streams in the Desert) –
The very fact of trial proves that there is something in us very precious to our Lord; else He would not spend so much pains and time on us. Christ would not test us if He did not see the precious ore of faith mingled in the rocky matrix of our nature; and it is to bring this out into purity and beauty that He forces us through the fiery ordeal.
Each day we have a wealth of things to be thankful for, and mine are out the roof, but I can honestly say thank you Father for watching over my daughter and allowing her to not leave this life on her son’s birthday or miss Mother’s Day, or even the years ahead You have planned for her.
But also, thank you Lord that I slept like Jesus last Monday night!
“And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep” (Matthew 8:24, NASB).
Thankful for hearing the “good” news before the bad for a change!