Each of our stories have twist and turns we probably wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves.
In 1986, I found myself walking the tightrope as a pastor’s wife, a position I would hold for over 25 years in different locations, states, and congregations. Feelings of angst and self-pity grew as I wrestled with what others thought or said. Living with panic eruptions led to anxious breathing and caused fears to swell to gargantuan proportions while toxic meditation imprisoned me.
I struggled making sense of anything, including my marriage! My husband and I raised three children together which added other shocking battles. Any hope I had, vanished, and I was moving in survival mode on the Scarlett Road. I couldn’t seem to find the “firm footing” I surprisingly presented to the world until one day, I realized I was doubting the goodness of God; The very One I vowed to serve!
Ultimately, I felt like a failure and not the victor singing, “Victory in Jesus”! I was emptied of everything, and that’s when I decisively, seriously looked up and stopped trying to live this life in survival mode without hope! I made an amazing discovery! MY road wasn’t the problem! The problem was how I thought my road should look. My expectations were unrealistic. I was expecting a bump free zone without twist and turns. I had envisioned life in a 1962 Grand Prix, one of General Motors first and most popular personal-luxury cars, while looking like Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters with a Tim Tebow arm at my side waving to the world as we drove by! Upgrading to a later model Grand Prix would have been ideal once the T-top design had been invented!
But something happened, I slid on loose gravel atop that winding road, and found the tarmac to be blistering and never ending. My compass was pointing to me and not to the Savior of the world Who paved the road and set my feet upon it at my conversion. You see, I wanted my life to count but what I really was wanting was a star-studded life that looked and felt perfect! So, when I came to realize my struggles were false expectations of a broken world, I was finally free from the hopeless picture-perfect life. I found freedom from demanding life to measure up to my flawless itinerary. Grasping what Jesus means when He said “Come, follow me” provided perspective. And it was in my awareness of total dependence on my heavenly Father, amid the twist and turns of life, that I grew more peaceful as my breathing relaxed!
I found freedom, but I also discovered affirming freedom is a daily march that meets up with Jesus on that Scarlett Road. DAILY! It’s in refusing to take my eyes off the prize no matter what the day holds. DAILY! It’s running with endurance through fair weather or the most grueling. DAILY! It’s reminding myself, “I am the Lord’s servant and I give Him my life,” DAILY! Like the words of the song say:
Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?Lyrics by Elisha A. Hoffman
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
And have peace and sweet rest,
As you yield Him your body and soul.
As I yield to Him, the twist and turns of this broken world drive me to the very spot I need to be to glean truths of Scripture and provide a more purposeful traveling experience. And that my friends causes me to shout!
I’ll shout it from the mountain top
I want the world to know
The Lord of Love
Has come to me
I want to pass it on.Lyrics by Kurt Kaiser
There really is so much to pass on! I want to be one of my Savior’s faithful “passer on’ers”! Will you join me? Jump into a pair of walking shoes (unless you have that ’62 Pontiac Grand Prix) and come walk with me. We can shout together!
Please allow me to shout out a few of my favorite loves, just so you can understand where I’m coming from when I write a blog post!
Right now, my journey has allowed me the privilege of caring for my grandson while his mama & dada are at work. And, he’s at the top of the list of things I love! I fell in love with my dear hubby over 37 years ago, and then we had 3 little loves of our own who have grown up and blessed us with other loves as they added each a spouse. I’ve always enjoyed decorating the inside of my home, but being outside in my yard, digging in the dirt creating a landscape of beauty has become a favorite past-time. I find creations in my closet through coordinating outfits which are exceptionally fun. I cook organic as much as possible and love eating healthy but crave a good burger or hotdog and fries from time to time! I feel so creative when I get in my kitchen and love the rewards of cooking and baking but I struggle with loving sugar a bit too much. I love a good book. But somewhere toward the top of the list, I love the creative feel of writing on the Scarlett Road blog post. If you enjoy reading my post, please sign up to the right while on my website with an email address so you can be counted as one of my faithful followers. Thank you, and “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13, [NLT]).