Devouring romance novels and longing for the day when I would have my very own love story, I had fallen hook, line, and sinker into the world, the flesh and the devil’s definition of what that looked like and how to get it, Doing it my way! The heartbreaking truth can be summed up with this quote by Henrietta Mears, “a people who spend much of their time in disobedience to God make little progress during their lifetime.” That has been an awakening realization!

A person spending much time in disobedience to God will make little progress throughout their lifetime.

“All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own…”

Isaiah 53:6a, NLT

Following MY own path! Doing it MY way! Living for MYself!

Years of listening to expository preaching by my husband on marriage only gave me more fuel for the fire. I was angry for what I was not getting. God’s amazing grace was lavished on me, but my focus was my husband’s grace-filled attention, yet I was not willing to give the same grace to him. So, my pride was manifested through:

• Fault finding
• Majoring on the negative
• And tearing down instead of building up

My Heavenly Father, Who “laid on [His Son] the sins of us all” continued to patiently wait for me to wise up (Isaiah 53:6b). And through the waiting, He provided instructional life experiences which inevitably brought me to the end of MYself.

After trying it my way far too long, I finally turned it over to the Master Designer of marriage.

And He helped me build a home!

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

Proverbs 14:1

“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:10-12

Marriage is hard and it takes full surrender to the Master Designer and Sustainer to keep it progressing for His glory!

The bottom line, in my ignorance I thought I knew best how to create love for a lifetime, However, I never imagined releasing my hopes and dreams into my Creator’s care would be where I found what I desired. His patience in waiting as I grew in my understanding and desire for more of Him screams with compassion!

And after 42 years (and a June fast 2023), MY relationship with my Savior and King, has brought and continues to bring the greatest fulfillment of love and grace. A longing heart yearns for the perfect Bridegroom, and that is Jesus (2 Corinthians 11:2; Ephesians 5:25-27).

The Lord IS MY Shepherd, I HAVE NO WANT!

Psalm 23:1

So, I am finding as the infinite Creator God walks through this life with me, I have no need or want. I am free to serve and love my husband the way God intended. Talk about real progress!