A little poem I have often read comes from my Streams in the Desert devotional book:

When obstacles and trials seem Like prison walls to be,

I do the little I can do And leave the rest to Thee.

And when there seems no chance, no change, From grief can set me free,

Hope finds its strength in helplessness, And calmly waits for Thee.

Much of my life is played out on a hill of desperation praying for relief for some unresolved situation. In 1987, when I was just a very young mother attending Bible Study Fellowship in Birmingham, Alabama, for just a few short months before my husband moved us accepting a pastorate in Louisiana, I was forever changed by the testimony of two women. The leader, Camilla Seabolt and her helper, Ethel, were experiencing obstacles and trials that would have caused me to unravel. Yet, these two women gracefully bore their struggles with strength and calmness. I have no idea what book of the Bible we were studying, but let me tell you, I was studying them. There was within me a deep yearning to have what they had. To understand when God said “My Grace IS sufficient for thee” it would be so and I would find strength and a calmness of character like I had never known.

Looking back over the course of these past 39 years, I see all the ways my Heavenly Father took the disappointments, the struggles, and the painful life events and step by step gave me the courage to continue climbing the hill. Unlike His hill (Mt. Calvary), but still in a sense to taste death, death to self: “I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death” (Philippians 3:10).

My March “fast” (leading up to Easter, 2026) began with This Is the Day the Lord has Made I will Rejoice and be glad in it! In that post I shared my focus: Prayer and thankfulness as I humbly seek to be developed and deepened for His glory! Understand when you ask to be deepened God Almighty will answer as my focus brought me to my knees, no sackcloth and ashes but self-effacing and a depth of praying that pushes one to the mat. A deepening prayer life and rejoicing in the character and power of God drew me closer to His heart; And that is certainly where I want to remain!

I found this poem through Facebook on Elisabeth Elliot Quotes; it sums up my struggling and relenting so beautifully!

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried; Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”

“Wait, You say, wait,” my indignant reply.

“Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!

Is Your hand shortened, or have You not heard? By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate hangs in the balance and YOU tell me WAIT?

I need a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign, Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

And Lord, you promised that if we believe We need but to ask and we shall receive.

And Lord, I’ve been asking and this is my cry: I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

“All you seek I could give and pleased you would be. You would have what you want but you wouldn’t have Me.

You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint; you’d not know the power that I give to the faint; you’d not learn to see through clouds of despair, you’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there; you’d not know the joy of resting in Me When darkness and silence were all you could see;”

Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate as my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”

So I slumped to my chair,

Defeated and taut and grumbled to God, “So I’m waiting, for what?”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign,

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun. I could

raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

You would never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;

You would know that I give and saved, for a start,

But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart,

The glow of My comfort, late in the night.

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

the depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked

of an Infinite God, Who makes what you have LAST.

You never would know, should your pain quickly flee

What it means that “My grace is sufficient for thee!”

Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight could

come true.

But, oh, the loss if I lost what I’m doing for you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft may My answers seem terribly late:

My most precious answer of all is still

WAIT.”       

~Russell Kelfer, Copyright 1995