A Fragile State of Repair

Hopeless and confused, describes how I was feeling in 2015 after hearing from several doctors that I would need surgery.  So, waiting to see the neurosurgeon for my herniated discs, I didn’t have any hope for recovery apart from surgery. As I reclined on the sofa, also recovering from a bout of vertigo, our youngest daughter and her husband came by to give me a belated Mother’s Day gift. I will never forget how beautiful she looked that day. As she walked around the sofa and handed me a small piece of paper, I understood why she was beaming, and even seemed to be glowing. My gift was a sonogram printout of my “in utero” grandchild! Unfortunately, shock overshadowed any elation I might have felt.

My mind raced: “how would I be any help? How involved could I be as a grandmother? I could hardly walk to the bathroom on my own!” All I was able to see was what I could not do on my own. I felt helpless! But it is there that God meets us, in our helpless state. He works and provides just what we need when He is invited into the mess. I marvel that He stepped into the uncertainty I was facing and provided me a better way. The neurosurgeon suggested physical therapy and wrote out a prescription on the spot. It was hard work and a slow process at times but a better one for me. Our Father does not give us the “one size fits all” remedy, but hones in on the greatest needs of our heart.

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!” –Psalm 139:17, NLT

What an Awesome God! What an Awesome Father! He really does provide for the deepest needs of our souls and takWP_20160505_016 (2) [8206]es the burden upon Himself to carry the load. We are set-free to serve, not in perfection but Holy intention! I love that!!

So fulfilling “Gram” duties, whether night or day, I’m feeding and burping and changing diapers and rocking to sleep and praying for this little one to know the deep, deep love of MY Heavenly Father, too!

An added note from 2021: this little one is growing up big, has trusted Jesus as his Savior (praise the Lord) and presented me with another sonogram! He’s going to be a BIG brother! What an amazing God we serve!

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