His Desire for Me

So much of our transitory life is lived in limbo, isn’t it?! Like when you are waiting nine months for a baby to be born and not to mention twenty-seven hours of labor to meet that new baby, like my youngest daughter just pulled off; and quite amazingly I might add! And almost as bad, waiting on the other end for text messages reassuring you everything is okay since hospital restriction has kept you at home. There is also the waiting involved when you are working on a degree or waiting to recover from an injury or illness. What about waiting for a diagnosis or waiting for treatments to finally bring the desired result. How about the waiting when you are expecting to close on a house or just waiting for a place to move?! Many times, we put the living on hold until we have the desired end. But that’s not what God calls us to do. He wants our lights to shine through it all; Our testimonies to be loud and clear that He is all we need, and He is the strength of our life!

My family was waiting for my nephew to go into remission after having several treatments for Leukemia and now that he is in remission, we have been waiting for his stem cell transplant to be scheduled. But now COVID is causing more waiting.

The end of last year grew increasingly difficult with pain and dizziness affecting my physical body. It certainly was a very unhealthy time for me including that, sadly, I dropped my PT exercises that were a part of my routine since 2015. Eating out and eating the wrong kinds of food also came with a price. After I suffered a retina tear in the month of September and finally “seeing” that through, I slid past October (my birthday month), November, and December with many indulgences. Pain increased dramatically especially at night. So, after seeking help from the chiropractor, who thought I had a rib out of place, I asked my medical doctor for her opinion. After an exam, she was convinced my gall bladder was the culprit as was I, but with blood work and an ultrasound, the gall bladder was cleared. Since I have repented from falling away from my workout routine and receiving a treadmill for Christmas, my walking and working out are consistent and my pain has improved greatly. Also, my sugar indulgences have been roped into control, so the overall shaky, horrible feeling is better, too. However, the dizziness has lingered, still, interfering with sleep and made many mornings so challenging. A thumb problem persisting had the doctor give me a choice of a shot, PT, or surgery. Choosing the route of PT now, has me waiting for a call to set up appointments! Will it happen any time soon?!

My health issues are concerning especially where they limit my involvement to be a help. Like with my family near and even far away in Louisiana, God allowed me to serve in different ways for some specific occasions.  My greatest joy is helping my family whenever possible. But God may be changing things up in my world for a reason. With health limitations, not feeling secure driving myself long distances or traveling alone, I have asked the Lord to show His desire for me during this season. He brought to my attention verses that keep playing over and over in my mind. Verses I would not naturally run to for direction or for the course of my life, are presently invaluable. I feel even more that He wants them to be a part of each day He gives me.

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

Acts 20:21, NLT

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.” 

Mark 8:34

The work assigned to me – telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God, keeps me focused. And sharing the gospel – “Good News” more fervently will help me turn from selfish ways and take up my cross to follow my Lord and Savior. I was impelled to examine the verse that comes before and the verse that comes after Mark 8:34. What I found blew me away!


verse 33


verse 35

Tears are flooding my eyes and a tissue is necessary! I need to pray to see things from God’s point of view not mine. When the Lord speaks (which He does through His written Word to us when we make it a priority), listen and obey because being a follower of Jesus gives life meaning not to mention security!

Me and my newest grand!

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