If only . . .

Traveling down the interstate occupying the front passenger seat entranced with the thought, if only I could throw myself out the car door and end it all. There was so much of a revengeful spirit in that thinking. Many broken years led to an unhealthy positioning of the mind! And now I found myself seriously wanting to get back at an indifferent, apathetic husband.

As a young child, I trusted in Jesus to save me from my sin debt; I knew without a doubt I owed it and quickly became extremely appreciative He paid the price with His righteous, holy blood in my stead. I also was very thankful I would not spend eternity in hell. Yet, a void was in my heart because of a lack of understanding about the deep love of God and what that meant for me now as His child. My greatest pursuit was for what I could see and know in a tangible way that would fulfill all my hopes and dreams in THIS life, and that is where my mind abided.

I gullibly fed my mind from the worldly wares haphazardly pursuing the abundant life our good Shepherd had purchased. Rarely turning to the green pastures and the still waters where I would have been lavishly fed, I tried to create a happiness through the creation instead of the Creator. My wrong thinking caused me to put on my husband a burden he did not deserve, and further defeated the role God created just for me. Survival mode became the main street where I existed.

…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:23 [RSV]

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 6:23 [KJV]

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 [RSV]

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children…We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us…God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins…And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect…    

1 John 3&4 [NLT]

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fulness of life and power that comes from God.    

Ephesians 3:17-19

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  

John 15:5 [RSV]

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.       

John 10:10-11 [NASB]

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.

Psalm 23:2 [RSV]

Do not waste your life floundering in the flesh! Instead, fill your mind with the truth of Scripture and pray to experience the fullness of God’s love here and now! You do not have to wait until heaven!