During a fast, when I am purposely asking the Lord to show me more of Him and less of me, you never know where it will take you. One place has been to a text message my 23-year-old nephew sent me just 17 days before he died. As I read it, I could not keep the hot tears from flowing. “Did I really have to go back to that, Lord?” You see, He knows that I’ve been grappling with issues since Sharon’s death (Dylan’s mom, my sister-in-law), on January 24, 2021, and now his, on July 14, 2022. Because when you lose a loved one, you just never feel like you did enough!
- Did I say enough?
- Did I love enough?
- Did I pray enough?
- Did I spend time enough?
The list can go on and on and be maddening! But shouldn’t we see that Satan is behind that madness (1 Peter 5:8; John 8:44; 2 Corinthians 11:3; James 4:7; Ephesians 6:10-18)? We are easy targets since all he needs is for us to focus on ourselves. When we are entrenched in grief and our losses, we naturally turn inward to nurse our wounds. But if we stay that way very long, we will completely miss God’s hand in the matter. And thus, never learn what He wants to share with us. So, we fall prey to Satan’s darts when we neglect the shield of faith which our Lord has so graciously designed for us to take up (Ephesians 6:16). Our loving Creator God wants to be our peace (2 Thessalonians 3:16), yet He will never barge in like our cunning enemy the devil. God desires for us to invite Him into our pain. He wants our time; Time for us to get to know His heart. He wants our prayers, pouring out all that we are holding in our hearts. He wants our love and to hear it said, repeatedly! “My Creator and Sustainer and Friend, thank you, for showing me more of you, and less of me! Oh, how I love You!”