I cried: “take this from me, Lord, I cannot bear it any longer!”
In my mind, I needed closure, an end. I had grown weary from being weary. I did not want to have to cope with it or even pray through it, any longer. The Lord had become my Shepherd many years earlier, the day I gave my life to Christ. And I know positionally my redemption is secure, but I still struggle with the practical day to day purpose of living: shedding light on darkness. There is still so much to learn in walking wisely. And despite how much I hope to not lose heart, the corner of the rug can trip me up or darkness comes rolling in if my lamp has gone out. It will be that way until I reach heaven’s shore.
So here I was, feeling the struggle and realizing a depth of depression had settled in with droplets rolling down my cheeks and my strength depleted. Learning to say, “What do you want me to see as I sit in this upheaval, Lord?” while waiting patiently, has been a triumphant accomplishment. On this particular day, I was given clarity! All at once the passage in the Bible I have studied for months, but had been putting off until today, drew me in and I was given an understanding of why I needed to sit in the upheaval for a while longer.
Thankfully, God never leaves us without the resources to once again shine the light on a hopeless situation. I saw my greatest need was not for the circumstances to change but to find He was ALL that I needed. He dried my tears and revived my spirit! He gave me something to pass on! I was now prepared to minister to another.
He is always faithful to give us what we need for the day! We might be given some assignment that leads us through dark terrain but screaming for a flood lamp is not the answer. The answer is taking His hand and fixing our gaze on the One leading The Way. He IS the good Shepherd (John 10)!
My prayer for you today is:
“. . . that you may not grow weary and lose heart.”Hebrews 12:3b
Fix your eyes on Jesus!Hebrews 12:2
The Way, and the Truth, and the Life!John 14:6
He is the Light of the World (John 8:12) and the light I want to shine!